 Morbidly obese need support
This article is addressed to a special audience, those with a loved one who is severely or morbidly obese.
There are many people in this world (including myself) for whom food is the drug of choice. Like alcohol and other addictions, the effects can be devastating to our families. If you are dealing with this issue, I'd like to offer some thoughts to help in your struggle.
1. Recognize that their addiction is not your fault. No matter the circumstances in life, we all have free will and are able to make our own choices.
2. Don't enable the addiction. It's easy to fall into the trap of offering food as comfort. Instead, offer to listen or take a walk. Rather than taking a friend to lunch, how about going for a pedicure together? For a spouse, instead of a favorite dessert, a nice back rub would be much more appropriate and efficacious.
3. Be generous with compliments. Obesity and low self-worth tend to go hand in hand. When the person does a good job of something, be sure to mention it. Use a combination of styles ranging from a simple "Great job, thank you" to "You know, I really appreciate it when you do…"
4. Support every effort to improve. This can be extremely challenging. Here's a little secret: Most morbidly obese people go to bed each night resolving to eat right tomorrow. And they really mean it. They hope and pray for the strength to follow through with that resolution. So, when your loved one speaks to you about their latest and greatest plan to get the weight off, believe in them. And if you just can't muster belief, fake it.
5. Encourage them to seek counseling. Remember, I'm not talking about the wife who wants to lose 10 pounds to fit her swimsuit this summer. These are people with 50 pounds or more to lose. That weight is nearly guaranteed to be just one symptom of an underlying cause. Most people will not be able to make permanent changes without addressing those issues.
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